Back-to-School Season: New Schedules, New Emotions — For Kids and Parents

The smell of sharpened pencils, the feel of fresh notebooks, the chaos of school supply aisles—yes, it’s that time again. Back-to-school season is here! While this time of year can bring excitement, it also stirs up a wide range of emotions—for both children and their parents.

As a clinician, I see the full emotional spectrum this season brings: joy, anxiety, pride, fear, and sometimes even grief over how quickly our children are growing. Every stage of school brings unique challenges and emotional shifts.

The First Day Jitters

Whether it’s the very first day of kindergarten or the first day at a new school, children often feel a mix of curiosity and fear. The separation from home, meeting new teachers, and making new friends can all trigger anxiety.

For parents, watching their child take those steps—literally and figuratively—can bring its own emotional wave. You might worry: Will they be okay? Will they make friends? Will they find their place?

Therapist Tip: Normalize the nerves. Let your child know that feeling anxious before something new is completely normal and will pass. Model calm confidence—your energy sets the tone.

The Transition Years: Big Leaps in Independence

Moving from elementary to middle school or middle to high school isn’t just a change in building—it’s a leap in social, academic, and personal identity. Kids are figuring out who they are while navigating new routines, larger campuses, and higher expectations.

For parents, this stage can be bittersweet. You might feel proud of their growing independence yet nervous about the new social influences and academic pressures.

Therapist Tip: Keep communication open without hovering. Ask specific, open-ended questions (“What was something funny that happened today?” instead of “How was school?”). Create space for them to talk without feeling interrogated.

The College Countdown

For high school juniors and seniors, the focus shifts to college applications, standardized tests, and big life decisions. Students may feel pressure to meet their academic goals, impress admissions boards, and figure out their futures—all while managing the normal social challenges of adolescence.

For parents, this phase can trigger worries about whether their child is “ready” for the next step, both academically and emotionally. There can also be pressure—internal and external—to push for certain schools or career paths.

Therapist Tip: Remember that your child’s worth is not defined by a test score, acceptance letter, or chosen major. Support their passions and strengths while helping them learn coping skills for stress.

The Pressure Parents Feel (But Don’t Always Talk About)

Parents carry their own invisible backpack of worries: safety, peer influence, academic performance, emotional well-being, and preparing their kids for a competitive world.

Add to that the daily logistical stress—getting everyone out the door on time, getting yourself out the door on time, managing your work day, managing homework & dinner in the evening, balancing extracurriculars—and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

Therapist Tip: Give yourself grace. You can’t control every outcome, but you can control the environment you create at home. A calm, supportive, and loving presence will help your child feel safe and confident. But first, be kind to yourself.

How Parents Can Soothe Themselves: Adaptive Coping Skills for a Calmer Household

Children often “borrow” their parents’ emotional states. When we’re anxious and frantic, they feel it. When we’re grounded, they can regulate better. Staying calm doesn’t mean ignoring your stress—it means learning to manage it in ways that are healthy and sustainable.

Here are a few adaptive coping strategies for parents during the back-to-school season:

1. Mindful Mornings: Before the house wakes up, take 5–10 minutes for yourself. Sip your coffee or tea without distractions, do a few deep breaths, or journal a quick gratitude list. This can anchor you before the rush begins.

2. Breathing Techniques in the Moment: When tensions rise (think: the morning backpack scramble), try the “4-7-8” breath—inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale for 8. It signals your nervous system to shift from stress mode to calm mode.

3. Set Realistic Expectations: Not every morning will be smooth, and that’s okay. When you accept this, you reduce the frustration that builds from expecting perfection.

4. Micro-Breaks During the Day: Even 60 seconds of stepping outside, feel the sun rays, stretch, or listen to a favorite song that can reset your mood. These quick pauses help you show up more present for your child later.

5. Boundaries Around Over-Scheduling: Just because an opportunity exists doesn’t mean you have to take it. Protect your evenings and weekends when possible—rest benefits the whole family.

6. Self-Compassion: Notice your inner dialogue. Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself on a hard day? Practice replacing self-criticism with words of understanding and encouragement.

7. Ask for Support: Parenting is a marathon, not a solo sprint. Lean on friends, family, or parent groups to share the emotional load and swap strategies.

Back-to-school season is more than a shopping trip and a calendar update—it’s an emotional reset for the whole family. By normalizing feelings, staying connected, and practicing your own coping skills, you’re not just helping your child—you’re modeling resilience, flexibility, and self-care. When parents regulate themselves first, the whole household benefits. Your calm becomes their calm, and that’s a gift that lasts well beyond the school year. Happy Back to School!!